


i can lie, say i like it like that

by yakisoba13



Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Assisted Suicide, Bleeding to death, Heavy Angst, Implied Childhood Sexual Abuse, Implied Serial Killings, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Loki and Thor Are Not Related, M/M, Murder-Suicide, Serial Killers, Triggers, oof, pls heed the trigger warnings, so many trigger warnings here okay, that shit hurted, this one hurts a whole lot, this one hurts fam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-12
Updated: 2018-12-12
Packaged: 2019-09-16 19:09:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16959831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yakisoba13/pseuds/yakisoba13
Summary: Loki finds Thor, a dark angel, who is the slightest ray of hope of release from the reality he's experienced for years.





	i can lie, say i like it like that

**Author's Note:**

> If you please, turn on "when the party's over" by Billie Eilish to experience the full effect.
> 
> This one is a bit disturbing... Please do not read if your mind is troubled by heavy thoughts or emotions.

Loki hadn’t known what to expect after his ordeal. He had been wandering the streets, limping, eyes looking dead ahead, but his expression lost. Bare, cold feet dragged across the pavement, but it seemed no nicks nor cuts could make Loki wince- he was already dead. 

 

But what the young man hadn’t expected was to see the sharp glint of a blade pressed against a woman’s neck, who was dying in the big arms of a blond man. 

 

Loki stopped dead, looking down the alleyway for a moment. Had he been in his right mind, he would’ve bolted and found the nearest police officer. 

 

But he wasn’t in his right mind, so he walked down the alleyway, his bare feet letting him approach quietly. 

 

“What are you doing?” He asked, not jumping back when the knife was pointed at him, nor when the woman’s body fell to the ground with a sickening noise, sloshing her own pool of blood against the expensive clothing she wore. Thor was panting in surprise, but his handsome face was composed as he stood, carefully avoiding the pool of blood.

 

“What are  _ you _ doing?” He asked levelly, pointing the knife at the pale boy. The other looked young, green eyes rimmed red, feet turning slightly blue. Homeless, perhaps? He looked old enough to be in his early twenties, but something told Thor he was a little younger than that, only by a few years.

 

Loki shrugged, keeping his eyes on Thor. 

 

He’d never seen someone so beautiful. 

 

“Is she dead?” Loki asked, and Thor stiffened noticeably when Loki pointed to the woman. “You killed her, huh?”

 

Thor started to advance, ready to stab the boy, but stopped when Loki grinned at him. 

 

“Maybe you can help me.” Whispered the boy, who was walking towards Thor, his eyes wide and frantically looking all over Thor’s face. “Perhaps... Perhaps, you can also do that to me.”

 

Thor had stopped backing away, and looked the boy over once more.

 

He was limping, but it didn’t seem like there was an injury to either of his legs or feet. His shirt was torn, and there were just-barely forming bruises on his neck and the one exposed shoulder. And a clear mark of someone having punched him in the cheek. 

 

This boy had been hurt... 

 

“Why?” Thor asked, shaking his head slightly, the knife lowering. 

 

Loki grinned, and it was that maniacal grin that made Thor shiver. 

 

“Please... I’m already dead...” Loki whispered, pleading. “You... You could help me. You could do this for me, and your secret will be safe.” 

 

Thor had been planning on killing the boy as soon as he had noticed Loki was there, but now...? 

 

“Please.” Loki urged, stepping closer. Thor didn’t back away, and soon Loki had his arms wrapped around the man’s neck, his eyes dull up close. “Just stick it in... I’ve had worse things stuck inside of me today.” 

 

Thor’s eyes closed, letting out a quiet sigh as his suspicions about the boy were correct. 

 

“No...” He whispered, and Loki let out a cry, bloody fingers shakily weaving in the man’s blond hair, tugging slightly. “Not here, at least.” 

 

Loki stopped his whining noises and pulled away, but wasn’t allowed to part fully, as the man’s arms had wrapped around his waist, holding him close. 

 

“I’ll do it...” Thor whispered, putting their foreheads together. “But not here.” 

 

“Then where?” 

 

\----

 

Loki had changed into clean clothes and had slipped on new shoes that Thor had given him. The blond’s car was nice and clean and very expensive. But Thor hadn’t bought new clothes- they were stuffed in the trunk of his car. 

 

“These... You’ve killed before, huh?” Loki asked quietly, feeling small in the passenger seat. 

 

Thor didn’t say anything. 

 

“... Are you paid to?” Asked Loki, but Thor just kept looking forward. “... Ah, this is just one of those things you do.” 

 

Thor’s big hands tightened on the steering wheel momentarily. 

 

They were approaching a big, fancy hotel in the middle of the city. 

 

\----

 

Two thousand dollars.

 

That was the price of taking Loki’s life, but in an environment Thor had chosen. Two thousand dollars bought a night in the biggest, nicest room in the hotel, way at the top, with large windows overlooking the twinkling lights of the city. 

 

“... This is the nicest place I’ve ever been.” Loki said, turning away from the view, his hands still on the cold window as he looked at Thor, who was taking off his jacket. 

 

“I know.” Thor answered gruffly, standing, and started to unbutton his shirt. Loki watched as a tan, muscled chest was revealed, the boy’s interest peaking. 

 

“... I’m Loki.” Said the boy.

 

“Thor.”

 

\----

 

Loki had never laid on 500-thread count sheets before, and much less had never had a man like the one above him on top of him before. 

 

“I won’t hurt you.” Thor promised, his lips ghosting over Loki’s bruising neck. “You... You are too special for that.” 

 

Dead green eyes looked lazily up into Thor’s, a sarcastic smile on his face. 

 

“But what about...” Whispered the pale boy in a trailed off questioning tone.

 

“... I’ll only hurt you if you let me.” Thor conceded, kissing the cold skin behind Loki’s ear, his blue eyes closing, breathing in the scent of tiredness and hopelessness. 

 

Loki let his eyes close too, reaching out, pulling the blanket up to Thor’s shoulders, creating a tent around their lower halves. 

 

“I’m cold.” He whispered, and Thor kissed his bitten lips gently. “Make me warm...” 

 

\----

 

Loki had never been touched by a man and not cried out of pain or fear.

 

Perhaps the day’s earlier events had finally broken him and made him positively respond to Thor’s touching. Perhaps he was a disgusting perverted person who could get off on someone taking advantage of his young body. 

 

But Thor wasn’t taking advantage....

 

No, this wasn’t like the other times at all. 

 

“Does that hurt?” Asked the man to the younger man. Loki nodded, then shook his head.

 

“Not like before... Not like what they’ve done.” Loki whispered, his eyes misting slightly, arching up as Thor’s finger tweaked upwards, rubbing that spot inside of him he had no idea he’d had. “Oh-”

 

It was such a soft noise, so timid, so frightened... 

 

“I’m not like them.”

 

“I... I know.”

 

\----

 

Thor let out a satisfied sigh as Loki laid down on top of him, letting the younger cry as much as he needed, to let his body finish the last shaking from it’s intense orgasm. Loki had clutched at his chest, scared, overwhelmed. Never before had he felt something like that. 

 

He thought pleasure was only for the men who touched him. 

 

“... Let’s clean you up.” Thor murmured, looking down at the messed up black-haired head laying on his massive chest. Loki slowly nodded, adjusting so Thor’s thick cock slipped out of his reddened hole. A bit of blood had slipped out, mixing with pearly white cum. 

 

Yet Loki didn’t feel dirty.

 

He felt clean.

 

\----

 

Thor hadn’t bathed anyone for a long time, but he held Loki close throughout the warm shower, soaping up his hair and body, rinsing him off, always keeping the boy pulled close to him.

 

Loki’s eyes stayed close, his mouth curled up into a slight smile of content, his aching body soothed by the warm water and by the big hands traveling up and down him gently. Next to the glass-doored shower, a big jacuzzi tub was filling with warm water, waiting for them.

 

Waiting for Loki. 

 

\----

 

“Ah- ssss.” Loki hissed, his eyes closing for a moment as Thor slipped the needle into the vein, tightening the white band of cloth around the boy’s arm slightly. 

 

“Shhh... Shhh, there.” Thor hushed him, holding him close watching as red filled the IV, and followed the first flow as it ran through the length of the tube, and then the first drop that turned the surrounding water slightly pink, before a steady trickle of blood streamed out. 

 

Loki looked and watched as his blood began to pour into the water, turning it pink, and then cloudy with the red. 

 

“... It’s beautiful.” He whispered, his eyes lighting up as he watched. 

 

Thor nodded, pressing a kiss to the damp black hair, his eyes trained on the blood. 

 

It was breathtaking. 

 

\----

 

Loki was leaning against Thor, cradled in big arms. A little smile was on his face. 

 

“Thank you, Thor.” Loki whispered, looking up at the man. Thor looked down at him, his blue eyes and his gorgeous face unreadable. “Thank you...” 

 

A wave of nausea overcame Loki, who had to take a deep breath. Even though the water was warm, Loki felt chilled, and a bit of sweat had broken out on his forehead. 

 

“You look so gorgeous.” Thor whispered, leaning down, kissing him. Loki smiled against his lips, shivering a bit. “I’ve never met anyone like you.” 

 

That made the pale boy smile wider, his brows canting upwards. 

 

“Really?” He asked, his voice soft and quiet. 

 

“Yes.”

 

\----

 

It had been twenty minutes, and Thor had taken to gently rocking the boy in his arms, who was fading in and out. 

 

“Thor-” Loki whispered softly. 

 

“I’m here, baby.” Thor whispered back immediately, kissing his hair again. Loki smiled, eyes struggling to open, trying to meet Thor’s. 

 

“I... You’re the only one who’s stayed... Don’t leave me... Don’t leave till I’m gone.” Loki begged softly, and Thor promised against his cold lips that he would stay. 

 

“Am I... Am I special?” Loki asked, his voice barely heard by the older man. 

 

Thor nearly choked on the words as they came out. 

 

“There will never be anyone like you... There never was... And there never will be, baby.” 

 

\----

 

Loki was humming, his voice breaking with every other rising of his tone, and Thor felt tears come to his eyes. It was the most beautiful song he had heard. 

 

“Thank you, Thor.” Loki whispered again, his lips blue. 

 

“Why do you keep saying that?” Thor asked, because it didn’t feel like it was something he should hear. No, not anymore. 

 

Loki’s eyes hadn’t opened for a bit, but he smiled. 

 

“Because.. I’ve lived... And I’ve loved... More than I have in the twenty years I’ve... I’ve been here.” He admitted. “And it only took a few hours... And it was all with you.” 

 

Thor shook his head, once, then several times. 

 

“No, Loki- don’t.” 

 

Loki shivered again, his body going limp, but he opened his eyes. 

 

“I love you-” 

 

“Don’t say that-”

 

“Thor, I love you-”

 

The blond felt tears come to his eyes, as he looked down at the boy. 

 

“Thor-” Loki whispered, and the blond knew he wouldn’t have a second more-

 

“I love you too, Loki.” Whispered Thor, and he watched as the life faded from the boy’s jade eyes, that haunting little smile still on his thin, blue lips. 

 

\----

 

The water was thick with Loki’s blood, congealing into browning spots on the surface. 

 

\----

 

A burst of fresh red flowed into the tub, steadily raising the level to where it began to slowly overflow from the tub. 

 

\----

 

Slowly, ever so slowly, the last twisted strands of black and blond hair disappeared beneath the surface, concealing and hiding the two lovers in a shroud of red. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> When I tell you I cried so hard writing this, you had better believe me. I've never written anything this saddening and upsetting (to me), so yay, you can all share in my misery ♥ I actually do not typically write anything this dark, but I got in my feels listening to Billie like a local, and oof, all I can do is meme away the pain now!
> 
> @ me on twitter @_yakisoba13_ if you've got some feels too.


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